Unless you're in a long-term, monogamous relationship or doing it on your own, there's no such thing as 'safe sex'. But there is 'safer sex' and you need condoms to do it. Sometimes people confuse safer sex with contraception because condoms do both. Safer sex is about minimising the risks of getting or spreading sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Contraception is about preventing pregnancies. Using anything other than condoms, such as being on the Pill, isn't safer sex.
The case for condoms
Condoms are the best way to help prevent you from getting STIs, which have health impacts ranging from smelly discharges to infertility to death. Condoms are portable, discreet and relatively cheap compared to the huge cost in potential consequences of not using them. And they come in different colours and textures ...
Condom cop-outs
Condoms sometimes get loaded with relationship or other issues that stop people from using them. Issues like:
- We're monogamous. Using condoms would be saying I don't trust him (or her)
- Sex is spontaneous. Having condoms looks like you're planning it
- It's not my responsibility
- I know I don't have an STI. I feel fine
- I know my date doesn't have an STI. He (or she) looks too healthy (or good-looking)
- I can't talk about this before sex, it's a turn-off
- It's embarrassing to talk about using condoms
- It gets in the way of a good time
If you cop out on condoms, that's a choice. But if you make that choice, don't tell yourself it's about trust issues or because 'it won't happen to me'. If that were true, STI rates wouldn't be so high.
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